I sit..

I sit in blades

of praying roses

blowing dandelions

coughing up fragile butterflies

I sit in a field

of crazy mushrooms

drenched in frenzy

biting off caterpillar heads

I sit at home

wholeheartedly in love

living contently

drinking coffee

I sit in bed

netted in darkness

living no dream

counting only fly shadows

I sit in dawn

tying singing birds

to fragile wrists

waning fear

I sit in day

watching trees expire

barking silently

in dead leaves unsatisfied crest

I sit in blush

romancing stars

gesturing white light

to strengthen regularity

I sit in poetry

of foggy thickness

reading words

from ones own endearing soul.

Sunshine after rain..

It's not always sorrow and pain

soon there will be gladness and light

after the long gloomy days of rain

the sun shines bright

and your heart rejoices 

at the fields full of grain.

The times of harrow and plough

that rippled through the furrows

those dark days are forgotten

the sun shines above

and you bask in the glow of God's love.

I have died..

I have died.

I have finally surrendered 

Its over

My soul has been rendered.

Now all I see is dark

but there is no pain

its empty and black

depression reigns.

A shell is all that's left

there's only death inside

I've cracked

there is no need to hide.

I feel no fear now

its not like anything could hurt

I'm dead

this you cannot try to avert.

When this shell will crack

they'll say I died of suicide

but that's a pathetic lie

because I've been dead long inside.

Its dark and quiet

it won't go on for much too long

suicide will be fun

doing this at this point is not wrong.

I have given up

I say it with no emotion

this pleasant darkness

dims the previous commotion.

Its completely silent

no more chaos inside

I like this darkness

I have died.

Nevermore...

I can't cry for you

not anymore

I have been separated

from my loved ones

too many times.

My heart has been broken

and ripped too many times.

So much that

my heart has almost become

finely sanded particles of glass.

And as I watch

those whom I love

separate from me once more,

No tears escape my eyes

as my heart cannot be torn,

cannot be torn

as it lays in my chest

as if it is ashes,

and my mind now almost clashes,

clashes with itself ,

trying to maintain its normal functioning.

But the heart is forever

never struck by the mind evermore.

Neither once,

nor twice

nor a million more.

She took his heart away...

Pain was the only thing

that's left with him.

His mind was blank

and heart was gone, stolen.

Left him hanging in the dark

with no one to hold onto.

He was trapped and shackled 

with memories that are absurd.

Promises 

that tied him up in the darkness

making her feel weak

wanting to break free

He was hopeless, 

devastated.

Maybe this was his prize.

He loved her too much

that he forget 

who he is 

and what he wants to be.

He let her destroy him,

leaving himself wounded 

with unbearable pain.

the secret garden

You didn't plant roses in my mind.

You didn't cultivate a garden

of the most exquisite flowers

in the saddest parts of me.

But you planted chrysanthemums there 

less common and striking

but known for their endurance

but you slowly tended 

to all the weeds

pulling them out 

one by one.

and 

you made sure that 

even after you were gone

I'd be able to take care of myself,

with or without you.

Sensation..

When 

I'm at my emptiest

I long to lose

myself 

in physical 

ecstasy

desperate

yearning 

extinguished

through 

flesh on flesh

bestial passion

throats ripped

blood pours

devouring

your entirety

on a wave of

nothingness

I ache 

to feel 

something. 

Tears..

My insides were frozen

my body numb

my heart was broken

and expression glum.

I guess I can thank you for that

after all, you made me this way

it was all because of you

nobody else to blame.

I shed no tears

because you aren't worth them

but as the rain falls to the ground

slides through leaf stems

I realize

the sky is crying for me

the water falling from the fruit tree.

Foolish love.

Who knew I could be such a fool

I fell for you

As you do the things you do

And you hurt me too

But still I wait for you

You say I'm sweet as can be 

But given the chance to have me

You choose to ignore me

you hurt me

and change me

But still I wait for you

And all the good that may come too.

Portrait..

If I ever had a chance to sketch a portrait,

I'd sketch a portrait of you,

your beady grey eyes

so attractive

your jawline

so definite

your smile 

so mesmerizing

your hair

so beautiful

your voice 

so surreal and breathtaking

you are perfection

and the best piece of art

I could ever draw.