Smile.

Go ahead

Make it look 

like everything's okay

When you know its not.

Go ahead

put that fake smile on

so people don't see 

the tears behind your eyes.

Go ahead

fake that laugh

so no one can hear you

crying for help.

Go ahead

act all tough

so no one can see you crumble.

Go ahead and smile.

Don't forget..

Remember

don't forget it

the world isn't going to remind you

cause the world isn't always nice

so you'll have to remember when you wake up

to remind yourself

to be strong

Be strong

in this world

this unforgiving world.

Don;t let it get it to you

whatever it is

you are beautiful

you are amazing

Even if this unforgiving world

we live in today

disagrees

Do what you love

even when they stare

and laugh

Love yourself

cause the world won't remind you

so be strong and remind yourself.

The heart beats itself to death..

If you still care 

don't ever let me know

if you forgive me 

for breaking your heart

and for leaving you behind

in that shitty place

of addicts and death

don't ever let me know.

I'll come to speak

during the bitterest time of your life

and if you see me

don't say hello.

I'll never forgive myself

I'll never let you know

I'll always love you

I'll never let you know

I'll never let you know

Change needed..

A life they see

through their eyes

butterflies they see

fly in peace.

Their own lives not at peace

branded with whips

cut with knives

treated worse than animals.

Food so cold

so raw

tasteless and sickening

Have you ever dreamt of such a life?

Think about the other million

those who do not survive

no food 

no shelter

no pain

Pray for the lot 

and bring about a change

He died again..

They say we only live once

but we can die 

several times in a lifetime

he believes it now.

Where did I go wrong? He asked.

he thought everything was alright

he thought they were the perfect lovers

"but how could you do that to me?", he asked

He thinks he's too complacent

He never doubted her

not even a tiny bit

coz he's so in love with her.

He trusted her with all his heart

with all his soul 

with everything he's got 

"but why did you chose to lie?", he asked

She broke his heart into tiny pieces

He doesn't know if it will ever be whole again

but you know what's funny?

He doesn't hate her.

He hates himself

because he doesn't hate her

not even a little bit

not even at all

He's still hoping

that someday they will end up together

because his love for her is too strong

he's still holding on.

He told himself she still loves him

and he believed her

so that's what still keeping him okay

he prays that its true.

He was 

He is 

He's still and always will be

in love with her

If someday he realizes 

that her love for him is all gone

He knows he's gonna die again 

But he wishes to live once more.

Love is..

Love is a funny word

wrapped in ribbons and tongues

To me

love doesn't exist

not like it does in movies and songs

love is not some fairytale ending

soaked in true love's kiss

love is much darker than that

love is a word

drenched in lies and deceit

dragged through the dirt

and carefully placed back on its pedestal

love is an ex carving my name into her veins

Love is the girl

that falls asleep each night afraid

he might not be alive when she wakes.

Love is a boy

tortured by words of hate

Love is his world

a girl who doesn't care

how badly he bleeds for her

Love is the scar on my left ribcage

from the anxiety

her empty threats caused me

Love is selfish

Love is beaten

Love is bruised

Love is giving your heart to someone

that has no intention of caring for it

Love is the mental illness

that the boy and girl suffer from

Love is calling in sick to work

because you can't breathe

That's the love that too many of us experience

Raw

Broken

Shattered

A love that most would call abuse

A loveless exchange filled with enough lies to make one fall

the abused falls endlessly

in love with his abuser

He will call it love

But he has forgotten what love is

His thoughts consumed by the abuse

He forgets that not all love

is as dreadful as theirs

He forgets the feeling of real love

like a warm kiss on the cheek

Like opening your favorite book

for the endless time

Love like waking up in someone's arms

Love like its supposed to feel

Love is a mother singing her child a sweet lullaby

Love is Get Well Soon cards and 2 hour phone calls

Love is beautiful

Love is raw

not raw like the fresh skin

Its like the apples

he used to pick with hid family

when he was young

Its raw like his open chest

before the depression hit

before he shut down

Before his heartbeat became a constant remainder of his pain

back when he could wake up in the morning

look up at the sky shining through the window

and believe in his heart

that he was happy.

You're delicate - my love

You are the prettiest

you are the cutest

and if I had to make a new word

it would be beautifullest.

You are the most charming

you are amazing

and why I find you pretty and sweet

I would say that you are my heart's beat.

I see you smile 

and dissolve into laughter

but I know you're still stick in a labyrinth

where you are drowning into pain.

When you smile (cry)

when you laugh (break down)

I want my presence to be with you

and stop the skies from turning into blue.

If you place your heart in my hand

I will keep it safe for me

I will cherish, care, protect, love 

and treat it compassionately.

I imagine that you're like a glass 

a glass that can be easily broken

and I want it on me to last

so that I can guard it even until the end.

You as a girl are delicate

when broken into pieces 

its painful to clean up

you may stick it up but you'll notice

the cracks still remain.

I want to collapse into you

when your heart is bursting

and I want to hold you

when your bones are chilling.

You are beautifully delicate

and I don't want to break you

I just want to handle you with all my care

You're precious and wonderful 

and will always be.

P.S. I Love You

Depression..

The scary thing about depression

that you can look alive

enough on the outside

for no one to question

just how much pain you're actually in

it burns the skin

revealing wounds within

that you've worked so hard to conceal

nothing feels real

There is just this daze

the daily daze

which comes in waves

and leaves the taste of defeat

but atleast defeat means

that you no longer have to try

and its sad but this pain doesn't subside

until you have destroyed

all that you have ever loved of life

But then, 

whats the point?

In the end your heart is dead

and not a soul will even know.

Love kills.

Love 

the most wonderful thing in the world

for the young and beautiful

a cause for pain 

and the misery for the rest of us

But what do you do when you fall?

You didn't know that 

love could be so painful.

You didn't know that 

it belonged only to them

And she is one of them.

And all the love in the world 

couldn't make her feel the same about you

because love belongs to the young and beautiful.

And she's one of them and you're not.