Faked love..

I gave you all I ever was

but it was I who couldn't see

relationships are meant for those

who bloom petals of love.

How could I be so foolish

to mistake these lacerations

on my feeble fingers

a constant reminder of the lights

that saw both the moon and sun

as dazzling leaves bleeding visions of euphoria.

It was I who mistook her grin

for the sunshine my soul lacked

where my ignorance sang of love

her serrated tongue whispered of clouds

and rainy days

my garden of thoughts

wilting with every word

that took my spirit away.

On the outside..

On the outside you'll see me laughing

a quick glance you'll see a smile

it appears that all is well

but it only last a short while

You can't hear the voices I do,

that say give up, you're gonna fail

each day brings a new battle

one that seems so hard to prevail.

the dark of night doesn't bring me peace

with the haunting dreams that I see

some reminding me the pain of past

others the happiness I wish could be.

The pain leaves no visible scars

hiding away inside the heart and the mind

each day it becomes more difficult to bare

looking for happiness I'm unable to find.

On the outside you'll see me laughing

A quick glance you'll see a smile

it appears that all is well

But it'll only last a short while.

It kills me..

It kills me when we don't talk

it kills when you ignore me

it kills when you're busy with your life

It kills me.

It kills when you don't understand

it kills when you put me in pain

it kills when you don't care

It kills me.

It kills when you walk away

it kills when you forget about us

it kills when you push me aside

It kills me.

It kills when you don't listen

it kills when you're not here

it kills when you smile at him

It kills me.

Someday..

Someday you'll know,

the strangest feelings

of your heart

sum up

your love for me.

You'll pronounce my name finally,

with love and faith.

You'll search for me,

with a hand full of flowers.

When you'll reach,

I'll be lying in my graveyard.

Maybe still waiting for you

or maybe I'll be carefree already.

Just wanted to..

I just wanted you to know me

I just wanted you to love me

I just wanted you to feel me

I just wanted you to hug me

I just wanted you to touch me

I just wanted you to breathe me

I just wanted you to keep me

I just wanted you to believe me

I just wanted you to want me

I just wanted you to haunt me

I just wanted you to pray me

I just wanted you to hunt me

I just wanted you to kiss me

I just wanted you to see me

Now I wish you would just leave me.

Like a moth to a flame..

Like a moth to a flame

a place of closed doors

and glimmering light

thoughts to dream

the fantasy of life

there is just something about you

something about those eyes

that keeps the fire alive

can two souls connect so deeply

they may physically touch?

can one heat get so hot 

it ignites an earthly sinful lust?

keep your silver spoons

and all your fancy wine

you can have your red carpet night

even diamonds couldn't give light

to the blind

as long as this dies

but it engulfs me

I shall accept the gift of scars

for even if the fire burns out

they are the remnants 

of what we are. 

Forgive me.

Forgive me, 

I know I'm not perfect

my loving ways aren't perfect

but my love for you is real 

fear may have concucted my mind

fortune tellers may be redundant in this matter and 

somewhere along the way I will hurt you

but don't let the hardships change the way you perceive me

the way you turn my imagination into reality

my soul recognizes your scent instantly

my heart has countless beats

when I pour my feelings to you

when I contemplate on the windows of your soul

that lets me into your garden of mind

that lets me rest for a while in your deep breaths

'cause really what's life with getting the wrong direction

I lack patience

Sometimes I ride way too hard on my sense of humour

I'm misunderstood of my sarcastic ways

of my ironic mindset of love's understanding

ups and down mend our connection  

melancholy, interestingly keeps us intact

forgive me, 

for I am not perfect

speak up, 

might wanna change my ways..